Nobody Believed Me — Narrative Writing — Answers
Answer sheet with model answers and success criteria for the Year 5 narrative writing writing prompt.
Year 5 · English · Narrative Writing
Nobody Believed Me — Narrative Writing — Answers
The prompt
Write a narrative that begins or ends with this sentence:
Nobody believed me when I told them what I had seen.
Your story can be realistic or imaginative. It could be set in the bush, at the beach, in a city, at school or somewhere no one has ever been.
A good narrative has:
• A hook in the first lines that makes the reader want to keep going.
• A complication that builds through two or three events, not just one.
• Figurative language (simile, metaphor, personification) used where it adds meaning.
• Varied sentences: short ones for impact, longer ones for description.
• A resolution that feels earned, and a final line the reader will remember.
Plan
Plan for five minutes. Note the events in order.
Answer: Tahlia, 11, who saw a light moving under the water of the farm dam at night.
Answer: At the end, so the whole story builds to the moment she tells people and they laugh.
Answer: 1. She sees the light and the dam water is warm. 2. Next night, the light is closer and the dog will not go near the water. 3. She wades in and touches something smooth that moves.
Answer: She photographs it but the photo shows only ripples. She decides some things are hers to know even if no one believes her.
Answer: The dam at night was a sheet of black glass with something breathing underneath it.
Write
Model answer: Under the Dam. The first night, I thought it was the moon. The dam behind our house was a sheet of black glass, and in the middle of it something glowed, pale green, the size of a dinner plate, moving slowly towards the bank. I stood on the verandah with my toothbrush still in my hand. Then the light blinked, as if it had seen me too.
Success criteria:
- The set sentence is used exactly, as the first or last line
- The opening hooks the reader within the first two sentences
- The complication builds through at least two events
- At least two examples of figurative language that add meaning
- Sentence length varies deliberately for effect
- Paragraphs mark changes in time, place or action
- Punctuation, including dialogue punctuation, is accurate
Marking tips
- Give credit for correct method even when the final answer slips — the working shows where the thinking went right.
- For open-ended tasks, use the success criteria as a checklist rather than looking for one "right" answer.
- Celebrate what went well first, then pick one thing to work on next.
Great work. Here's what to try next: